It’s around noon on offer day for one of my listings. There’ve been a fair number of showings and a lot of questions asked by buyers and their Realtors, which is always a good indication that there’s interest, but no one has called yet to register an offer. I’m sitting at my desk writing this post and busy with other things, but a part of my mind is distracted. When will someone register an offer? After 20+ years I still get nervous. I want things to turn out as well as possible for my clients. I go through this all the time so I know things work out more often than not, but my clients don’t sell their homes every day so it’s harder on them than it is on me. And so we wait. Whether you’re buying or selling and whether you’re the client or the Realtor, the waiting is the hardest part.

Why is the waiting so hard? I think it’s because even though we don’t know what’s going to happen we still go ahead and set high expectations for what we’d like to see happen.

Selling

Before you decide to sell your home in central Toronto you’ve probably heard all sorts of stories about how hot the market is. You’ve heard that some homes are getting 10 offers and selling for $100,000 over list price. Your family and friends tell you your home is gorgeous and will sell in a day for a fortune.  There’s no doubt in their minds. No one tells you stories about all the homes that don’t sell immediately with multiple offers because those stories aren’t as glamorous so you base your expectations on what you’re hearing and set the bar really high.

Then you go ahead and list your home. While it’s on the market, your friends and neighbours may be asking you “How many showings are you getting? Have you received any bully offers? Did you hear how much the home down the street sold for?” It’s similar to when you’re nine months pregnant and everyone asks you “Did you have your baby yet?” These questions are well meaning, but they tend to add to your stress.

Offer day finally comes along, but that doesn’t mean your stress disappears. Just the opposite. It’s more likely that your stress has reached the boiling point by now. And to make matters worse, it’s fairly typical for buyers and Realtors to wait until the last minute to register their offers so you still have to wait. All day. On pins and needles. For someone to register an offer. Or not. And only after that can you figure out what to do.

Buying

When you decide to buy a new home chances are it’s because you’re ready to move. You’d like to do some research to make sure you buy the right home at the right price, but you’re ready to buy. Not in two years from now. Now.

You’ve also heard how hot the market is. You’ve heard that there are way more buyers than sellers, but you have faith that your perfect home will appear on the horizon in the near future and you’ll be the only buyer who makes an offer.

You start to look at homes, but there’s not a lot to look at. The pickings are slim. You have to wait. Finally your dream home appears. You fall in love and get emotionally attached to it. You make your best offer. So do five other buyers. Someone offers more than you and buys your dream home. You’re disappointed, but you move on. And wait for your next dream home.

How many times will this scenario repeat itself? Let’s hope not too many. Some buyers get the first home they offer on while others may have to offer on numerous homes before securing their dream home. You may have to wait a month or you may have to wait a year. Who knows? But you’ll have to wait. (Several years ago clients of ours offered on twelve homes before buying the thirteenth home on which they offered. Luckily for them, they were the only offer and were able to get it for significantly less than what the other homes sold for.)

What can you do about the waiting? Nothing really. The market is as the market does. It’s beyond our control. The best you can do is control your expectations and your attitude. Adopt the mantra “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.” Be practical, but don’t get attached to any particular deadline, price or home. Stay as flexible as you can and try to avoid any attachments and any expectations. It’ll all work out. It always does. Every buyer eventually gets a home and every seller eventually sells their home.

This is much easier said than done. I know this for a fact because as hard as I try, I can’t stay detached. I have certain expectations for my clients and they’re usually very high. If I had 10 or 20 or more listings on the go at the same time as some Realtors do I might feel differently since I’d be too busy to worry about these things. The fact that I keep my numbers smaller because that’s how I like to operate means that I have time to sweat it out with my clients. I occasionally wish I could do things differently, but you can’t change who you are.

So please try to follow my advice even if I’m unable to follow it myself. Control your expectations and your attitude. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. Everything happens for a reason.

And if you know anyone who’s interested in learning how the market works and who’d like to receive the kind of help that involves honest answers, straightforward advice, no pressure and being treated like family, please let me know the best way for me to connect with them because I’d like to offer them this kind of help. And as always, don’t be shy if you have any questions or comments about this post! Thanks for reading.

N.B. This story has a happy ending. Three offers were finally registered in the evening. Don’t ask me why people wait so long to register. My clients and I breathed a big sigh of relief.