What’s this you say? Posting 2 days in a row? Has there been a monumental shift in the real estate market that the world needs to know about immediately? Nah, I just had another post-worthy idea. Hard to believe, I know.

It seems that everybody faces the dilemma of whether or not to hire their friend or relative as their realtor at one time or another. Is this a good thing to do? There’s no absolute right or wrong answer. There will be pros and cons depending on the circumstances and you have to decide what’s best for you given your situation.

The idea for this blog came to me last night when I met with a family for the first time. They told me that they had a dear friend who had been their realtor for several moves, but there were complications the last time they moved and their friendship still hasn’t fully recovered.

Some realtors expect their friends and relatives to hire them and are extremely insulted and hurt when they don’t. Other realtors, myself included, feel  that selling or buying is business transaction that’s separate from personal relationships and that our friends and relatives should hire the best person for the job.

The benefits of hiring your friend or relative as your realtor are as follows: If they expect you to hire them, you avoid mortally wounding them and your relationship will remain intact, at least for now. Presumably, you can also trust them completely to do what’s best for you. Finally, they may give you a break on commission. There are potential downsides to this type of relationship of which you should be aware, however. They may not be as attentive to your needs because they think that you won’t complain. You may not feel comfortabe expressing your opinion if you’re not receiving the type of service you desire because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. You may hesitate to ask things of them that you’d ask of an independent realtor because you don’t want to inconvenience them. They may not be the best person for the job and that may end up costing you tens of thousands of dollars and untold amounts of stress. And, potentially, as often happens, things go so badly that not only is your relationship ruined,  but the realtor who you thought was working for free ends up being more costly than a realtor who charges you full freight. And to top it all off, you still have to see them at parties!

On the other hand, if you hire an independent realtor, you’ll get the best person for the job. Your friend or relative who is a realtor might be upset with you at first, but that’s their problem and they’ll have to learn to deal with their unfounded sense of entitlement. If they’re mature business people, they’ll respect your decision. They may even thank you for not putting them in a uncomfortable situation.

Personally, I prefer not to work with friends or relatives and only do so if they insist and we agree that business is separate from personal. I promise to treat them like each of my other clients and they promise to treat me like an independent realtor.

Keep all these things in mind when you choose your realtor. As I mentioned, there’s no right or wrong answer. If your mother is an experienced realtor who specializes in your area and is lending you money to buy your home, that’s one thing, but if you’re considering hiring your third cousin’s ex-husband who specializes in farmland to help you buy a condo in Yorkville, that’s quite another.