There are people who are in tune with their feelings. When they’re upset, they know what upset them and why it upset them. Or so I’m told. Because I’m definitely not one of them. Far from it.

I’m the guy who often doesn’t even realize he’s upset. I’ll be going about my usual business and Katherine or one of the kids will ask “What’s bothering you?” This gives rise to a brief pause followed by my reply of “I’m upset? I don’t think so. But maybe I am. I’ll have to give it some thought.” Then I try to figure out if I really am upset, what might have upset me and why it upset me. It’s a learning process for me.

When Kobe Bryant was recently killed in a helicopter crash, I knew I was upset. (See? I’m making progress.) The problem was  I couldn’t figure out why I was upset. Yes, it was a tragedy. But it was only one of many tragedies reported every day in the news. I do like to watch basketball, but I’m not a Lakers fan and Kobe wasn’t my favourite player. So why was I upset?

It wasn’t easy, but I figured it out. Kobe exemplified the pursuit and achievement of excellence on the basketball court. His determination, commitment and hard work were an inspiration to me. He became the best possible version of himself, which is something I work towards every day.  Seeing what he accomplished showed me it’s possible. It’s true that his accomplishments remain whether he’s alive or not, but being able to see him in real life made them more vivid and real.

I also had to figure out my feelings when David Ayres, the backup Zamboni driver, got the opportunity of a lifetime to play goal for the Carolina Hurricanes against the Toronto Maple Leafs when both of Carolina’s goalies got injured. If you’re not a hockey fan, you have to understand this never ever happens. Imagine being called upon to step in for a professional athlete at the last moment. That’s what it was like. I was really nervous for him at first because I thought the Leafs could score a hundred goals and embarrass him on national television. But he held his own and actually won the game. I was very happy for him. The kind of happy where it feels like your heart is smiling. 

And then I had to figure out why I was so happy for him. I’d never even heard of him before that night and I’m not a Carolina fan. So what was it? It was this: David was putting himself out there. He was taking chances and living his dream. And his dream came true. I was happy for him and I was happy for myself because he showed me it’s possible for dreams to come true.

Being the best you can be (like Kobe) and living your dream (like David) have been key themes in my life. Surprisingly, or not surprisingly given my relationship with my feelings, it’s only in writing this right now that I’ve come to this realization.

When I was in school, my goal was to get 100% on every math test. I used to walk a mile after school every day in the dead of winter to play shinny and practice my skating. Nobody spent more time on the putting green or driving range than me. When Bruce Jenner won the decathlon in the 1976 Olympics and was called the world’s greatest athlete, I started training for the decathlon. It didn’t matter what it was, I always wanted to challenge myself and improve. I’m still that way.

Now, you may be saying to yourself “That guy isn’t happy with who he is. He’s always feeling inadequate.” But that’s not true. I’m quite happy with who I am. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t always get 100% on my math tests or that I never played pro hockey or golf or participated in the Olympics. It’s all about the challenge of becoming the best version of myself. I love the process. That’s the Kobe in me.

And living my dream? I knew I never wanted to be a lawyer so it wasn’t a difficult decision to leave the practice. I then had to figure out what it was that I DID want to do. After listening to some Tony Robbins tapes (way back when), I decided I was going to create a mental picture of what I wanted my life to look like and then fill in the pieces. Somehow it worked because I’m very happy with the life I’m living. I’m not saying my life would be YOUR dream life or anybody else’s dream life for that matter, but it IS my dream life. (Although if I’m being completely honest, I still wish I could play on the PGA Tour. Or at least be a scratch golfer. Some dreams never die.)

As you know, I’m a Realtor. I don’t consider myself to be a salesperson. My job is much more important than that. Buying or selling a house is a major life milestone. The way I look at it, I get to help people realize their dreams. But I can’t do it on my own. It’s YOUR life and you have to do YOUR part. What do I mean by that? Too many people don’t choose the right Realtor and as a result pay too much, sell for too little, buy the wrong house, waste too much time, suffer needless stress and don’t enjoy the process….I see this almost every day and it’s killing me because it’s such an easy fix.

If you want your dreams to come true, take the time to do the work necessary to hire the best Realtor for the job. Someone who has achieved excellence in their field. It’s as simple as that. This is what a client recently said: “We are absolutely convinced that Michael used his negotiating skills & knowledge of the market to get us an extra $105,000.” It’s up to you. Don’t settle. Find the best person for the job. Let them use their excellence. And live your dreams. You owe it to yourself.

If you already have a relationship with a top Realtor, great! But if you don’t and you’d like to receive the kind of help that involves honest answers, straightforward advice, no pressure and being treated like family, please free to connect with me. I’m always happy to help. Thanks for reading.