When I was a wee young agent, I thought everyone would want to hire me because of my integrity, unique skill set and the way I always put my clients’ best interests above all else. I obviously had a healthy ego, but my understanding of human nature left room for improvement.

I’ve had a GREAT career in real estate so far and have had the opportunity to work with loads of fantastic people, but not everyone I’ve met has decided to hire me. This was a little surprising to me at first, but I quickly learned what I should’ve already known. We’re all different. Very different, in fact. We all have different likes, dislikes and reasons for behaving the way we do. And to make us even more difficult to understand and predict, these things can change from day to day. So it’s not surprising that I haven’t been hired by everyone I’ve met. (It’s also a good thing, but more on this later.)

Knowingly or not, we all bring our histories to the table when we make decisions. We may decide to hire someone because they remind us of someone we like. Or we may decide not to hire someone because they unconsciously evoke some unpleasant memory. I’ve been told that I’ve been hired, or not hired, because of where I live, my gender, my marital status, because I have kids, because I didn’t have kids (before I had kids), my company name, commission rates, sexual preference, etc. etc. And I know this list just scratches the surface of reasons as to why people get hired or don’t get hired.

Apart from learning how different we all are, I’ve learned a few other things, too. I’ve learned to accept people for who they are and to not get upset if they decide to hire another agent. I’ve learned not to sell myself to people. There’s no point in trying to convince them to do something they’re not comfortable with because neither of us will be happy down the road. Instead of selling, I focus on understanding their needs and then explaining how I work and the benefits of working with me. If we’re a good fit, we work together, and if we’re not, we shake hands, wish each other well and move on.

I’ve also learned that it wouldn’t have been a good thing if everyone wanted to work with me. First, I wouldn’t have had the time to do as good a job as I wanted to do because I’d have been spread too thin. And second, not all my clients would be happy because some people are looking for something different in an agent. The people who have chosen me as their agent tend to share certain characteristics. They’re mostly very loyal and intelligent people who think logically and who want to work with an expert they can trust to look after their best interests and provide them with sound advice without pressuring them. They’re also considerate, appreciative and, most of the time, fun.  These are the kind of people I treasure and hope will choose to hire me.

Perhaps the most important thing I’ve learned is to examine my own decision making process. When it comes time to make a major decision, I try to sit back and think about how my history might be affecting my decision. I then try to remove my history from the decision and focus on making the best decision possible. For example, if I was looking to hire a real estate agent, I’d look first and foremost for someone I could trust 100% to do what’s best for me. I’d also want someone with significant expertise and knowledge that they’re willing to share with me and I’d want them to respond to my phone calls and emails quickly.

Whatever the decision, it’s never a bad idea to zero in on the factors that are most important to YOU. Other people may not understand or agree with your decision, but you’ll know that you made the best decision for yourself.